My desires for change are mainly selfish. I have a plan that I think God should implement instead of aligning my heart with God's plan. I think that if only God would allow this or that to happen then things would be better. I think better circumstances would mean better relationships.
I let doubt overwhelm me and I forget that I am a daughter of the King. I put God in a box and I forget His power. I hold on to all of my burdens instead of laying them down at the feet of Jesus.
So today I'm laying it all down and giving it to God. All the things that I've been holding onto for years. The hurt and anger from past betrayals that I've buried under the veil of fine. The shame that I carry from personal mistakes made decades ago. The guilt of parenting mistakes made last year, last week, and ten minutes ago. The doubts and fears that that God will come through in all situations, big or small.
I'm giving Him the hearts of my children and asking Him to consume and overwhelm them with his presence. I'm praying that they will hunger and thirst for satisfaction that only comes through their relationship with Christ. My desire is that they will long to live a life of purity, integrity and service to God.
I'm laying it all down and asking God to overwhelm me with His relentless love. I'm asking God to reveal anything in my life that is hindering me from drawing closer to Him. I'm giving Him every relationship and asking for His wisdom to know when to speak and when to be quiet.
I'm giving God every member of my family.....the ones that I live with, the ones that I grew up with and the ones that have become part of the family over the years. The ones that I like spending time with and the ones that I only tolerate because they're family. I'm asking God to help me see them through His eyes...to see them as His child. To love them as He loves them. I'm asking God to help me see past the annoyances and differences and in all interactions that I bring glory and honor to God.
This week in Bible study we were challenged to do some form of fasting to help us increase our hunger and thirst for God. So for the next 8 days, until we head to Georgia for Thanksgiving, I plan to spend time fasting by giving up 2 meals a day. My desire is to prepare my heart to truly celebrate the meaning of Thanksgiving and to create an overwhelming hunger for God.
My prayer is that God will use this time to increase my hunger for Him and show me what it means to love like Romans 12:9-10 "Love must be without hypocrisy.Detest evil;cling to what is good. Show family affection to one another with brotherly love. Outdo one another in showing honor."
I am a Christian, a wife, a mom, a VBS crafter, a coupon clipper, a thrift store shopper, a football fan, a cook, a student of the Bible and an avid reader.