Have you ever had a momma breakdown? You know what I'm talking about. That moment when you just can't handle it all anymore. That moment when the damn inside of you breaks and everything that you've been holding inside comes pouring out. That moment when you feel your emotions are too much for you to control. That moment when you realize that you've been lying to yourself and others when you keep saying, "I'm fine"; "It doesn't matter"; "It's no big deal".
Any number of things can give you that little push over the edge. Maybe it's parenting issues with your children or relationship struggles with your spouse. Perhaps it's the utter chaos of the house that just never gets under control no matter what you do. It could be the stack of bills or sickness that keeps attacking your family.
In the life of every mom there are many things that can drain us, exhaust us and stress us every single day. We can go weeks or even months taking care of everyone else and not realize that we're starting to sink under the weight of it all. If we don't take the time to give everything to God daily and ask for his strength, peace and wisdom, then we are headed straight for a momma breakdown.
I speak from personal experience here. I had my own full blown momma breakdown just yesterday. I knew it was coming because I could feel the emotions getting out of control. I noticed that the little things were feeling more like big, huge, gigantic things. I tried to convince myself that everything was "fine" and that since I had given some of the things over to God then I could handle the rest on my own. I was wrong.
Right in the middle of a discussion with my son about getting a job and graduation is when the breakdown happened. All of my attempts to "handle" it on my own were unsuccessful. All of my repeated statements of "I'm fine" were proven to be a lie. The damn broke and all the things that I'd barricaded behind the wall came pouring out. In that moment I realized that I had been so focused on making everything ok for everyone else that I had been ignoring myself.
Yesterday was a wake-up call for me. It was a reminder that I cannot do this mom and wife thing in my own strength. God cares for me and wants me to bring EVERYTHING to him EVERYDAY....ALL day if I need to. It also made me realize that no matter how uncomfortable it is, I must speak up when something is important to me. I've got to remove the veil of fine and share my real thoughts and feelings about things. Of course, I must share them in a loving way but I cannot just ignore them in hopes that they'll go away.
Yesterday was not my finest moment as a mom. Today, I am grateful for God's grace and the ability to start afresh and anew. I am grateful for the reminder that I'm not expected to have all the answers and do it all perfectly all the time. The only thing I need to do is to walk with Him throughout each and every day of my journey.
So to all the mommas out there who are on the verge of a momma breakdown...go to Jesus NOW!! Take all of your frustrations, victories, failures, joys and heartache to the foot of the cross.
To all the mommas out there who are just on the other side of their momma breakdown.....go to Jesus NOW!! Reach out and feel his arms hug you and say, "I love you" and "tomorrow we'll try it again together".
We all make a thousand choices everyday. Coffee or Juice? Toast or cereal? Read the Bible or not? Leave on time or run late? Drive the speed limit or not? Fast food or cook at home? Fold the laundry or leave it in the basket? Watch TV or read? Lose patience with the kids or practice self-control?
What about the choices that we make that aren't so clear cut? Have you ever heard someone say, "I had no choice" or "I didn't choose this" ? Sometimes that's true but many times it's just an excuse we use when we don't want to take responsibility for our actions.
In our house we hear lots of "but he was annoying me"; or "sorry, I lost track of time"; or my favorite "I was going to but I forgot". We address those statements with the explanation that we have a choice. We choose how we react to others who irritate or annoy us. We also choose whether we will be responsible and do what is expected of us. We choose whether we will be a person of honor and integrity.
In every aspect of our lives we are faced with a choice. The choice may not be easy or painless, but we have a choice. When we choose to keep silent about babies being murdered we have their blood on our hands. When we choose to say that the definition of marriage doesn't affect us then we attack the institution of marriage as God created it. When we choose to drink alcohol, we choose to have our witness affected.
When we choose to ignore the poor and needy then we choose to ignore Christ. When we choose to worry about circumstances in our lives we insult the power of God in our life. When we choose to ignore what God is calling us to do then we choose to be replaced by someone else who's willing to complete the task.
When we choose to praise God through illness or the death of a loved one we're choosing to have faith in the sovereignty of God. When we choose to love those who ridicule or hate us, we're choosing to be like Christ. When we make the choice to give up our rights, die to ourselves each day and put Christ first then every other choice that we make will be made for God's glory.
Have you ever thought about how your choices will impact those in your circle of influence? As followers of Christ, we must always remember that the choices we make will do one of two things. They will point others to Christ or lead others away from Christ.
What influence will the choices you make have today?
I am a Christian, a wife, a mom, a VBS crafter, a coupon clipper, a thrift store shopper, a football fan, a cook, a student of the Bible and an avid reader.