Today was a hard day. Seeing the other woman in the school parking lot this afternoon made my blood boil with anger. Learning that he was at her house playing catch in the front yard with her daughter made my heart ache with pain for my children. He's flaunting this affair in the community where we do life and he doesn't care. Her kids are getting his time and attention while his own kids are left to wonder why they no longer matter to him.
My first reaction was to call and yell at him...which I did. But since he didn't answer, I had to settle with yelling at him via voicemail. After I hung up, I yelled at the empty house. I cried. I prayed. I took Jovi for a walk and prayed again. The blatant disregard for anyone but himself is mind boggling. It's like a switch has been flipped and he's not the person that we knew. He's only the shell of the man that we loved and did life with. His heart is hardened like stone. His countenance has even changed.
I've been praying for him to see his actions as sin and for God to bring conviction and change. However, tonight I realized that I've been playing too nice with prayer. I've been focusing my prayer on Rich and his actions. But I need to declare war against the enemy and his schemes. So that's exactly what I'm going to be doing. The enemy's reign of terror on my family stops now. He might keep coming at me but I refuse to give him the victory.
Like Priscilla Shirer says in her book, Fervent, "We simply don't have the luxury of playing nice with prayer. Not if we want things to change. Not if we want to be free- from whatever's keeping us held down and held back. Not if we want our hearts whole and thriving and deep and grounded...different. Not if we want our husbands and children living out what God has called them to do and be and become. Not if we want a fence of God's protection around us. Not if we want to bear the unmistakable mark of His favor upon us. Not if we want the devil and his plans to go back to the hell where they came from."
It's time to send the devil and his plans back to the hell where they came from. So I will fight his strategies and schemes by putting on the full armor of God. I will bring the power of heaven down to earth. I will fight him by praying specifically for those areas where he is targeting my family. Those areas that he has intimate knowledge of where he can most easily take me down.
Right now he thinks he's winning by destroying my marriage and devastating my children. He is using this affair to exploit my weaknesses and render me helpless. He knows what buttons to push to get my focus off of Christ and onto the pain and hopelessness. He knows my doubts and my fears. But no longer will he get the victory.
Through prayer I will defend myself against his fiery darts and through God's power I will push back into enemy territory and take back my family.
Take notice Satan....you will not wear me down.....I will not give up....I will make you sorry that you ever messed with me or my family.
THIS MEANS WAR
I am a Christian, a wife, a mom, a VBS crafter, a coupon clipper, a thrift store shopper, a football fan, a cook, a student of the Bible and an avid reader.