Jesus you are my healer and my rescuer. You hold me up and give me strength. You give me calm amidst the chaos. You have always been right by my side and carried me through so much. You have never let me fall.
I can feel your presence with me through all of the disappointments and struggles. Even though I don't always understand the circumstances, I know that I can trust the voice that speaks peace over me. I know that when I cry out to you that you hear and you care.
I need your Spirit to flood my heart and to comfort it today.....especially today. My heart is fragile and weary from the battle. The cracks are beginning to heal but some days what has healed is torn open again.
Today as I reflect on 22 years of marriage, I am saddened to look at the pictures and see the pain behind the smiles. I remember the fun times and the laughter and it brings a smile to my face. We built a family together and had some great adventures. But the suffocating control and degrading atmosphere always there.
Lord, I need you to remind me of who I am in you. As I lose a part of my life, help me remember that your love for me is constant. When hateful and vile comments are made about me, remind me of your truth. Remove the negative thoughts from my mind and replace them with Your truth.....Your love.....Your grace.
I know that I am not perfect but I also know that I have lived my life striving to please you and honor you in my roles as a wife and mom. When the feelings of failure overwhelm me please lift me out of the deep and flood my heart with your love.
Lord, I need your wisdom and guidance as I step into an unknown future. Stop me when I veer off the path that you have set before me. Carry me when I want to give in and give up. Give me strength to persevere through the daily responsibilities of being a solo mom. I thank you for the godly mentors in my life and in the life of my children. I know you use these people to encourage and support us when we're struggling to understand.
Continue to heal my heart and remove any sprouts of bitterness so they don't take root and grow in my heart. Help me to show love and kindness to those who hurt me. And in those times of loneliness, show me that I never walk this life alone and that you are the only one who can bring me lasting joy and overwhelming love.
Your love has sustained me through so many troubles and it is because of your amazing grace and unending love that I continue to live this life with a smile on my face. I know that you will continue to show up and show off how much you care for me and my children.
Thank you Lord for flooding my heart with your love, my mind with your truth and my spirit with your peace.